Before I got pregnant, I had played the pregnancy test scene countless times in the imagination, and I must admit that she was much more glamorous in my dreams than she was that morning (laughs), I thought I was filming myself for posterity and record my impressions.
This was not the case.
It was barely awake, empty stomach, sweaty hands and feverish legs that I timidly walked to the bathroom to put an end to the doubts that had inhabited me for 7 long days.
Sitting in the dressing room, staring at the pregnancy test for endless minutes, I realized that I would be immensely disappointed if the test turned out to be negative.
After seeing the film of a mother-to-be life pass before my eyes, I took the pregnancy test and to my delight I had the confirmation that the most wonderful role of my life was waiting for me.
I did not react immediately, the test seemed blurred for a few seconds due to my immense emotion.
I remember a moment of absence, I was as if paralyzed for a few minutes, unable to get up from my stool for fear of falling backwards, I also remember bursts of frank and sincere laughter accompanied by trembling of feet as my joy could not be contained… then finally, tears tinged with happiness and nostalgia for my childhood flowed…
I walked around every room of the house with my pregnancy test in hand without taking my eyes off it, ever!
I then took this picture in a daze to be sure that I was not dreaming. . This morning was certainly the strangest and one of the most beautiful of my life.
Completely centered on my feelings and on my little marshmallow in the hollow of me.
Q1
From the beginning of my pregnancy I unfortunately understood that the rest would be complicated, indeed, I experienced great fatigue and disgust for food from 4 weeks. I remember our lovely Christmas holidays in Alsace during which we were forced to return after each outing as short as they were for me to rest for an hour in the hope of recharging the batteries a little.
The setting was however wonderful, the magic of the Christmas markets was mesmerizing, the atmosphere was friendly as possible and the Alsatian specialties could not be more greedy. only that's it.. they gave me terrible nausea and I was only 4 weeks pregnant. However this period was undoubtedly the most fun of my pregnancy, future dad and I had a lot of fun with my desires as a pregnant woman, I loved lemons in which I crunched without even blinking to the great surprise of Sir, I who never liked the tomato now that it had become my favorite food, I loved cheese I didn't really want to eat it anymore, and the meat I loved.. well I didn't want to hear about it anymore! To date I consume 3 times less meat than before. I also had wacky cravings for Coke or pickles at 2 a.m. (laughs)
After a sweet stay in the very pretty region of Alsace, I was plagued by regular blood loss due to placental detachment,so my gynecologist warned me from the start that he could not guarantee me a pregnancy until term. So I lived in anguish to see the pregnancy end prematurely for 3 months.
From my fifth week of pregnancy I began to regurgitate excessively and this until term.
I vomited about 4-5 times a day. I also spent Christmas Eve 2019 in bed, in pajamas, the bun undone with a trash can next to the bed …
December 31, 2019 was a memorable day, we had an appointment with the gynecologist for my dating ultrasound during which we were able to see our child for the very first time. What a wonderful moment! I couldn't contain my tears when I saw this tiny shrimp that I already called baby marshmallow. Feverish and between vomiting I managed to ask all the questions that were on my mind and enjoy this short moment of pure happiness with the future dad.
The month of January was more unpleasant than the previous one. The vomiting intensified (8 to 12 per day) and chills of fatigue made me tremble from morning to night. I was anxious at the prospect of having to prepare before an outing because the slightest gesture required superhuman efforts.
Getting out of bed was an obstacle course for me.
It was now clear that I was actually suffering from hyperemesisgravidic.. of which the medical profession has never told me what still seems crazy with hindsight.
I did not know this term and I was told throughout my pregnancy that my many vomiting were normal symptoms of pregnancy and that nothing could be done about it.
So I quickly put my parents in confidence since my pregnancy was almost impossible to hide. My dad seemed worried about my lack of tone and my bad looks.
In this difficult time, all that gave me the strength to move forward was the prospect of seeing my pretty baby at the next ultrasound.
I thought I was at the end of my unpleasant surprises when a terrible pregnancy symptom unknown to the medical profession saw fit to invite itself, thus transforming my already very unpleasant pregnancy into an absolute ordeal!
I named pregnancy dysgeusia.
What to tell you except that the vomiting in comparison was pleasant.
Pregnancy dysgeusia disrupts the perception of taste and causes a feeling of iron taste in the mouth, that's in the best case, I would have dreamed of having this iron taste in the mouth. for I had a terribly bitter and acidic taste constantly in my mouth, no matter what I ate, chewed or the mouthwashes I tried to make. Believe me I tried everything (vinegar, salt, baking soda, toothpastes, mouthwash) NOTHING could take away this infamous taste in my mouth that depressed me enormously. Worse still, the taste of all foods was altered by this damn dysgeusia. my beloved morning orange juice now tasted like a trash juice (no no I'm not exaggerating, it was terrible) the slightest food I ate amplified that indescribable taste in my mouth and caused me to cry repeatedly. This taste unfortunately did not leave me until the day of my delivery. it is therefore with the worst symptom that I had known so far that I began the month of February which brought its share of unpleasant surprises also.
On Tuesday, February 2nd, my doctor contacted me to inform me that my blood results revealed gestational diabetes and that she had therefore notified the diabetology-endocrinology department of my maternity ward so that I could be followed more closely. She told me they would contact me quickly. The sky was falling on my head. while I was already struggling to stand and regurgitating each of my meals I would have to watch my diet now? in a burst of denial, I ignored the calls of my maternity ward until the next day for fear that I would be asked to go there which involved for me superhuman efforts, such as getting up early in the morning, taking a shower, getting dressed, brushing my teeth, enduring a car ride and all this to learn bad news. but I quickly changed my mind for the well-being of my baby and finally responded. This was followed by a hospitalization during which I was confirmed this diabetes and informed of the strict diet to follow until the end of my pregnancy. I was also taught how to measure my blood sugar using a blood glucose meter. So I experienced the joys of bites before and after each meal (6 times a day).
Very tired and depressed that day, I implored the doctors to find me a treatment for my vomiting and pregnancy dysgeusia but the only response I got in return was this particularly frustrating sentence "all these symptoms are normal, there is nothing we can do about it, you will see it pass in the second trimester"
This was never the case. On the contrary, the more months passed, the more the symptoms amplified.
Q2
This quarter was undoubtedly the most difficult, the one during which I hoped to see these damned symptoms improve or disappear… unfortunately, this was not the case. I have never vomited as much as during this period (up to 20 times the most terrible days) and this with a diet to respect now, which made my blood sugar intake obsolete. I experienced loss of knowledge and the pregnancy dysgeusia seemed to have increased.
To make matters worse, the threat of Covid 19 was now hovering over France. The confinement made my medical follow-up very complicated and my midwife's office closed. Futur Papa was not allowed to go to the second trimester ultrasound with me and therefore discover the secret of his baby. I found this consultation that I had been waiting for very sad.
Paradoxically, the confinement brought its share of good things during my pregnancy, my husband was restricted to short-time work and teleworking which allowed him to spend most of his time with me and to be able to be present to help me on a daily basis and to start creating the cocoon of our future baby (my favorite part).
I would tell him my ideas for our future son's room and we would receive packages every day that he would help me unpack before assembling the furniture and painting his room. He would go to the store alone to avoid exposure to the virus and come back to take care of me and our baby's room. Despite the severity of the symptoms, the joy of receiving childcare items and projecting myself into this life of a mother was sometimes enough to soothe and fill me.
I loved this rather special period during which the world seemed to live in slow motion and everything revolved at home around this little being who would soon expand the family.
Q3
The least difficult trimester in terms of symptoms with some days when I did not vomit. More stable blood sugar levels and above all, the date of the term approaching.
I felt a little less tired during this quarter which allowed me to go out a few times and organize a great baby shower with my closest friends.
The last month was difficult, with water retention in the middle of July and the hot weather. And then this burning desire to meet my baby.. I couldn't take it anymore. It was very difficult for me to spend these last few days just waiting for baby to arrive. Very active and energetic by nature I felt this like torture. the day of the term finally arrived but baby still had not pointed the tip of his nose….